Philip Fucking Seymour Fucking Hoffman

It's nearly Oscar time, and I will be having people over to watch, as I sometimes do, and there will likely be a betting pool, as sometimes happens, which my friend Dan from Bald & Effective will win, as he always does.

I'll make the same mistake I make every year, betting on the movies I think should win, instead of trying to put myself inside the mindspace of someone who lives and works in Hollywood; an impossible task for me, which is why I'm unable to understand why Philip Seymour Hoffman wasn't nominated for anything this year.

In 2007 he was in 3 movies: Before The Devil Knows You're Dead, Savages, and Charlie Wilson's War. I saw the first two, and, as usual, he was beyond extraordinary. The man immerses himself. He's a fucking bathyscaphe. Every role he plays, it's as if he was typecast. Not only the look, but the self-image; his ability to create fine and definite shadings of self-esteem and self-awareness is uncanny.

So why no awards?

It's not like he lacks for respect—he already won for Capote—but maybe it's just too much brilliance at once, like staring into the sun for too long. When I'm king (and that day is coming soon, my patient puppets), he shall have three Oscars per year, one for each name, for the remainder of his natural life, which shall be Methuselan, thanks to vitamin supplements and regular exercise.

And I, by the grace of God (and by royal decree), shall finally win the goddamn betting pool. I could just have my armies take the money, of course, but where's the sport in that?

UPDATE:
I just read in the newspaper that PSH was actually nominated for Best supporting Actor for Charlie Wilson's War. I still think he got robbed, but I must admit that this is an excellent example of why I never win the goddamn Oscar pool.

Comments

[I Don't Know]

Virg!
Welcome back!

[titivil]

How very Emily Litella of you.