Timebook to FaceBook the Musicbook

Let me be frank. I have willpower coming out the wazoo (if that's the area I'm thinking of): I quit cigarettes after 10 years of chainsmoking, I run regularly (if not gracefully), I recently replaced the chocolate cookies in my cupboard with Fig Newtons— I've even refrained from kissing the wrong person once or twice—ah, but that's a story for grownups.

The point is, I'm able to resist most things that I should resist, if I put my mind to it— for a while, anyway. I lived in Seattle from 1991 to 1995, and escaped without a single tattoo; I was one of the last kids on my block to get a cellphone (excuse me; I should take this); I resisted creating a blog until I knew the world could no longer survive without my blazing thought-missiles, and I flat-out refused to join Friendster or Myspace until I was absolutely certain their time in the digital sun had passed and I would be left in virtual peace, watching the ones and zeros drift lazily past my laptop window.

Still, little by little, site by site, I caved, until, finally, only Facebook remained. It wasn't easy. I knew things were happening there; Myspace was deadspace; Friendster had reached the endster; and still Facebook raged like a teen-gobbling juggernaut, gorging and gobbling on its youthful prey until there were no more youths to gorge nor to gobble, whereupon it turned its bloodsoaked gaze to their elders.

Still I resisted. I was unmoveable. I didn't exactly brag about it, but when people mentioned bloggers with that special pronunciation that means "futureless uberloser", I took no umbrage. I knew that I was not part of the herd. Facebook was for trend-os. I am not a trend-o, friend-o.  Facebook is no country for grown men, and I am a grown man.

A man who is now *sob* on Facebook.

Forgive me.

I only did it for the Scrabble.

Comments

[Mr. Moto]

Dear man, I suggest you join enemyster. There, you will not hear phrases such as "Jojo friended me." You will, instead, hear the converse: "I enemied Jojo, that toothsome whore."

You might also be interested in Hatebook.

[el diablo]

No use jumping into the pool until you're sure it's drained of water.